{"Was marriage what you expected?"}
I think that I expected it to be difficult, but the things I thought would be difficult aren't actually the difficult things. For example, I thought two people getting ready in the same bathroom in the mornings would be difficult and frustrating. It's not. We just work around each other and do what we need to do. I thought that we would always disagree about how we wanted our house and what would end up being "our style." Nope, that actually came pretty naturally. I thought that communication was the most important thing and that it would be difficult. It is right that communication is important, but it's not just telling each other stuff... it's HOW you tell each other stuff. And before marriage, I thought the "how" was just about your tone of voice. Nope. It's your body language, your huffs, your puffs, your silence, your non-silence, your timing, your eye contact, etc, etc... it's talking in each other's language even when you have no idea what that even means. It's your willingness to figure it out, to always desire to learn more about the other person.
{I think a common misconception is that you'll learn each other after a few months or so together and that will be it. I think an even bigger misconception is that you won't have any problems or disagreements because you know each other so well.}
After a year of marriage, I've learned that my relationship with Jon is an ongoing learning adventure meant to be embraced and treated delicately. We both change daily with each experience, each conversation, each walk around the park... and I have to be willing to learn and relearn who Jon is... who he is becoming... who he wants to be.
{The other thing I've learned is that marriage does not solve my desire for companionship.}
Ladies, I know each of you can relate to this one. Guys, I think you can, too, if you're honest. God designed us to have a companion. It is in our inner being. Unfortunately, that desire for companionship has been corrupted [what started at the Fall but what has been continued by the culture we live in]. We feel that another human being can satisfy that longing. Dear friends, it just doesn't work that way.
{Jon and I are married, our covenant secure. We are committed to stay together until death do us part. I have had to consistently remind myself that this fact does not mean that Jon alone can satisfy my every need for... well, anything.}
Jon knows my deepest, darkest secrets, and I know his, but he continuously lets me down and I continuously let him down. God must be in the center of this gig for it to work. I know you have heard that several times before, but I promise, it just doesn't work without Him.
So, here's to a year and many many more to come. I could not have married a better man. I love him and desire to know him fully. I desire to honor and respect him unconditionally. I desire to be his. I am thankful for his drive and his persistence. I am thankful for his determination to be a man fully enthralled in the beauty of our Creator and to always be in tune to the Holy Spirit.
We have a lot of growing up still to do [I blame it on us both being the baby child of our families], but I cannot imagine figuring all of this out with any other person.
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| March 26, 2011 |
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| March 26, 2012 |
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